Friday, November 16, 2007

Step 7

"Humbly asked Him to remove our short comings"

My thinking around this step has gotten twisted as I've tried to work on my defects of character. I am powerless over them. There are lots of days when the defects are in control. God is supposed to remove them. I am to stop trying. However, if I don't try, the defects appear to get worse. If they get worse, is God going to give up on me. I get very perplexed and confused. Restless and irritable.

Last night, we listen to Joe and Charlie talk on steps 6 and 7. Some of their suggestions seemed to jump out at me.

"God will do for us what we can't do for ourselves. God won't do for us what we can do for ourselves."

They suggested that I try to think the opposite of my defects of character. If I am afraid, act with courage. If I am selfish, act with selflessness. If I am dishonest, be truthful.

It's taken me a lot of years to get my character defects. It's going to take change on my part to break these habits. Those two guys told me that if I had done step 6 and said that I was ready, then I was ready to be responsible for myself.

When I pause to think about what I have just written, I big part of myself wants to scream "Bull S__t". Acting the opposite won't change inside of me, I'll still be a selfish man, even if I'm acting selfless. And then I remembered this quote from page 62 of the big book.

"Next, we decided that here after, in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director."

A moment of clarity came over me. All those folk who told me "I had to act my way into good thinking, not think my way into good acting" were right. My thinking is messed up, I proved that to myself in the first paragraph.

If I turn my will and life over to the care of God, I had better take direction from the Director. Act how my Higher Power wants me to act. The thinking will follow. The acceptance will follow.

That is the right use of will power.

Thank you.

3 comments:

YamadogGirl said...

What a great post! Your giving me God bumps this morning! What an awesome feeling huh?

Also, I didn't know if you knew this, so I'll pass it along. The original Joe from the Joe & Charlie tapes went to be with His Lord on November 2, 2007. If you're interested here is his obit.

http://www.aabibliography.com/
joe_mcq_big_book_studies.html

Joe & Charlie have made a huge difference in a lot of peoples lives, and will continue to do so over time. What a blessing we were given.

Have an awesome day!
Blessings & Love,
Kimberly

tkdjunkie said...

Thank you so much for sharing ... you wrote exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you for helping me to stay sober too :)

indistinct said...

Thank you, Kimberly, for passing on the news about Joe. To be honest, when I listen to them sharing, I never know who is who. I just love the way they share, their humour, how they tease each other. Their love for AA. They taught me so much about the big book. Joe's teaching will live on for a long long time. That web page is so cool. I can lose a lot of time reading all that material.

Thank you, tkdjunkie, we stay sober together.