Friday, December 7, 2007

Daily Reprieve

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.

I've written a fair bit about the struggles our family is going through. I could also was eloquent about the troubles at work. The best part about this past couple of weeks is how family has pulled together. Another good part is I got to stay clean and sober through the whole thing, staying in the moment.

My sponsor was telling me of his drinking days and when any calamity befell him, his hearts cry was "I'm outta here". I laughed and then realized that was me. If I was struggling, out I would go. Numbs the word here boys. I didn't do that these past weeks, these past 20 months. Woo hoo.

We were looking at Step 10 last night

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
What spoke to me the most is just how spiritual this journey is. It's all about my relationship with my Higher Power. Being willing to surrender to God. To do the Creators will in my life. To let God use me in any way God see's fit.

The two places I struggle is a) being mindful of God throughout the day and b) reviewing my day at the end of said day. I can get so busy during the day, caught up in the world of work I forget about every except about work. Then I get crabby and self centered. I can occasionally catch myself and get centered again. Nice when it happens. And at night, when I start to review the day, I get to about coffee break in the morning and I'm sound asleep. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Nifty is the fact that I can tell when I'm off kilter. When I need to make an amends. When I'm disturbed and when I disturb another. That self awareness, I believe, is a result of the program. Doing those spot checks, staying as close to God as I can, helps keep in spiritual condition and that keeps me sober. One day at a time I change simply slowly and subtly. Thank you.

Our family is healing slowly from the events earlier in the week. The sky doesn't look as dark as before. We still shed tears for the lost unborn child. Tears of grieving. Tears of healing.


YamadogGirl said...

You sound well, thank you.

"Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

I used to try and do an inventory every evening, and invariably I would zzzzzzzz....

So after hearing what someone else shared, I tried this approach. Throughout my day I take a personal inventory, a lot of times when I do or say something wrong today, I know it immediately, I can feel it in my soul. So I pray with a God of my understanding, and promptly admit it. By the end of my day, I can add additional prayers for others to my list, and get a good nights rest so I can (try to do my best) to do His will again tomorrow.

Blessings & Love,

indistinct said...

Thanks Kimberly.

I need to catch myself earlier. By the time I am thinking about what I am feeling, the storm is on. Slowly we change if we keep trying. I know I won't get it all at once, but if I keep trying, I will get it.

Anonymous said...

The 10th step is the glue that holds all the steps my opinion. I read the 10th step promises and I absoultely cannot believe they have come true in my life today. As long as I continue to take personal inventory and when im wrong promptly admit it...I've got a chance today. Thank God!