Friday, December 14, 2007

Praying for others.

While praying sincerely, we still may fall into temptation. We form ideas as to what we think God's will is for other people. We say to ourselves, "This one ought to be cured of his fatal malady" or "That one ought to be relieved of his emotional pain." and we pray for these specific things.

Such prayers, of course, are fundamentally good acts, but often they are based upon a supposition that we know God's will for the person for whom we pray. This means that side by side with an earnest prayer there can be a certain amount of presumption and conceit in us.

It is A.A.'s experience that particularly in these cases we ought to pray that God's will, what ever it is, be done for others as well as for ourselves. (Twelve and Twelve, pp. 106-107)

It is hard to let go. Seeking answers to prayers that would relieve me of my fear and worry. Wanting assurance of happy endings. Learning to just live in the fears. Trusting God. My relationship with my Higher Power is not about the absence of strife and pain in my life or my families life. My relationship with God is more about connection. To dwell in his hands. To have a solid rock to stand on. To walk in the sunlight. To be able to face what life brings without numbing myself. To be part of the human race. To take part in my family. To not be in control of anything or anyone. To let go and let God.

At my one year cake, someone from my home group gave me a sketch of a large hand holding a small child. The child was standing up, reaching towards some light in the sky. The caption reads "Reach up as far as you can ..... And God will reach down the rest of the way." As I work the steps, trying to do my best, my life changes. From one point of view, I'm doing the work, so I should get the credit. From another point of view, I'm doing the work, changes are happening beyond what I could have imagined, and God gets credit for it. In over 50 years of trying by myself, I could never get the soberness, the sense of being clean, the wonder of walking in the sunlight. When I gave up and gave my will and life over to God's care, a gift of what I had just listed was given to me. I don't understand what happened, but in my heart I know that the credit goes to God.

I continue to learn. To struggle through my fears and let go. Praying for God's will. Thank you.

2 comments:

pat said...

Beautiful.

YamadogGirl said...

Thank you. I love to read your blog, the reminders of where I've been, and the growth that happens the longer we take this journey. How by fully giving our will and life over to a Higher Power of our understanding, we truly become free.

Pretty ironic? Giving total control to a Higher Power, gives us complete freedom.

Love,
Kimberly