Thursday, March 13, 2008

lost the remote

We were discussing Step 8 last night when someone asked another how he handled the fear while getting ready to Step 9. The fellow looked across and simply said "When I'm feeling fearful, it means I still want to be in control."


I want to be in control. Simple as that.

I don't like things the way they are. My addicted son, not the way I want him. My job, not the way I want it. My spouse, my other children, AA, workmates. People, places and things. I want to be in control. Contrary opinions? The hair on the back of my neck can rise up.

Seems like a lot of material that we are talking about at meetings these past weeks has been about humbleness. Comes from step 7, humbly asked God to remove these defects of character. Acceptance comes a lot easier when I am humble. When I am willing to trust other people. If I can let go of my expectations. Give my will and life over to my Higher Power. Allow myself to feel the pain that life brings without trying to change the source of the pain.

This mornings "Daily Reflections" has the following:

"Spirituality means devotion to spiritual instead of worldly things, it means obedience to God's will for me. I understand spiritual things to be: unconditional love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control and humility. Any time I allow selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear to be a part of me, I block out spiritual things".

I seem to understand at a bit of a deeper level, this morning, about acceptance and letting go. Life isn't going to happen the way I want it. Ever. Acceptance is a pathway to peace. I'm not in control, can't be in control, so letting go of control is truly a blessing. Allowing God more room in my life.

Thanks for letting me share.


dAAve said...

Sometimes life WILL happen the way we want it. But rarely when we try to force it.

Bill said...

I've read some great stuff on your blog, and I'll be back. Congrats on your recent anniversary!!!

Also, thanks for your comment on my blog, which led me to yours!