Saturday, March 15, 2008

Two

Today, I celebrate two years in recovery. Two years of being clean and sober. Two years. Wow!!!

So what am I grateful for you ask?

1) That I can pray to a Higher Power of my own understanding. That since I allowed God into my life, the obsession to drink and porn has been lifted. My Higher Power is loving, compassionate, and understanding. Doesn't have a magic wand that makes my problems go away. Doesn't make my world problem free. God supports me as I face life and what it brings. I am thankful for the relationship.

2) That my spouse is still with me. Our love for each other continues to change, to grow. That my sponsor asked me "Do you want to be right or happy?" I learnt that I don't have to take her inventory, I can let her be, just as she is, and we can get along fine. I am loosing my fear of letting her see inside me. Today, our children are putting on a bit of a get together with family and friends to celebrate our thirtieth anniversary. Recovery made this possible.

3) That the relationship I have with my children is growing and changing for the better. I finally understand that I can accept them, just the way they are, and love them as they are. I also have learnt that I cannot stop the pain that happens in their lives nor force God to change their circumstances. That the pain we experience changes us into what we are.

4)For my sponsor, who's words keep on popping into my head at the most appropriate time. He is a patient, compassionate, and understanding man. He teaches me to be the same. He has helped me many times as I struggled with myself.

5) For A.A. For the vision the pioneers had to start A.A. so that eventually I would walk fearfully into the rooms and find freedom from obsession. For rooms full of people with the courage and honesty to share what is really going on in their lives, showing me that I'm not unique. My struggles are the same as many others. Many others have made it through and so can I. By working the twelve steps, I can see me as I am and change that which God shows me to change.

6) For the friends I have made after I entered into recovery. For the depth of emotional intimacy I can have with them. They call me on my bull shit, hug me when I cry, listen to me when I am full of fear, laugh with me through growth. It is a "we" program.

7) I am able to give back what is given to me. That as I give love and compassion away, more just comes in to fill the void. That I am learning to help others. Not just think of myself. It's a gift.

To God, to my spouse, to my children, to family and friends (and blogger friends) I say "thank you".

5 comments:

pat said...

Many many congrats.

dirtydishes said...

I am so happy for you. I remember when I had 24 hours, I dreamed of the day I would have 2 years, not 30 days, not six months or a year, but 2 years.(?) After I hit that 2 year mark, it made me even more grateful for every 24 hours. So, congradulations on 731 (Leap Year) consecutive 24 hours! I am so grateful you are here.

dAAve said...

CONGRATS!!
Two years is a BIG deal. Two years and a day is even BIGGER.
Keep coming back.

YamadogGirl said...

Congratulations! All my love and Gods Blessings to you sweetie!

Love,
Kimberly

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Congratulations. You have so much to be grateful for. Thanks for sharing.