Tuesday, August 26, 2008

More on anger.

Thank you for responding to my questions on anger. I understand, more than ever, that stuffing my anger will result in lots of discomfort, and that if enough gets stuffed in, the release of it all will be in volcanic proportions.

I think that Heather's response sounded like the funnest way of dealing with anger. ( I am worried about the state of the canoe.) I am paying special head of AlkySelters advice to stay out of jail. Much appreciated!

You all spoke of keeping it out in the open, To talk about it, write about it, share it. To be open and vulnerable, truthful. I tried that last night. I was still carrying all this anger around my partner. I told her I felt angry and unsure of why. I asked her to bear with me as we talked it out and explored. I told her of how I usually stuff my anger so she's not even aware of it. So we talked it out. And we got to the root. And the anger was gone and in it's place was a sense of intimacy and resonance. She explained to me how close she felt, how she would prefer not to be shut out when I'm feeling angry. She spoke of our partnership as We.

All that I was afraid of never happened. In fact, the opposite did. Again, thanks for all your suggestions and help.

Yesterdays Daily Om was also about anger. (Amazing how that works out.)

I'd like to close with a paragraph from that reading. It confirmed what you shared with me.

We can make an agreement with our partners and those closest to us that asking questions can help all of us discover the source of the argument. The shared awareness can result in finding simple solutions to something physical, like low blood sugar or even a hormonal surge. Maybe we are taking ourselves too seriously, and we can just laugh and watch the tension dissolve. We could also discover that perhaps we are addicted to the excitement that drama brings and the chemicals that our body creates when we are angry. But there may be a deeper issue that requires discussion, understanding, and patience. The more we allow ourselves to step back and examine our reasons for arguing, the easier it becomes to allow real feelings to surface and guide us toward solutions that improve our lives.

Photo Credit: Niko1900


AlkySeltzer said...

"All that I was afraid of never happened. In fact, the opposite did."

Oh how often has that been the case. Oh, how TRUE is the TRUTH!

Please God, let misunderstandings be melted away into comassionate and loving understandings. Please! Mine, and others'...
Steve E.

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

I'm so glad you found a way to work through it with your partner and that it brought you closer. :)

Anonymous said...

Another thing that helps is not thinking that everyone elses anger or frustration is about ME. Communication is good. I am so glad you are willing to work at it together(we). That's awesome!

Shadow said...

hey! i'm happy it worked out so well!!!!

Shadow said...

...and thank you for linking!