Monday, September 29, 2008

mirrors


Listening to someone share about their difficulties with God, I could see myself so clearly. I could see my own fears illuminated by their struggling words.

I could not surrender. Could not and would not. The only train of thought that I would trust is my own. The first time I was confronted with the steps I had become angry. No way I was going to admit I was powerless. No way I was going to turn my life and will over to something I didn't want to have in my life. A power greater than myself? No way.

I am so thankful for the changes that have come into my life since those days. How God has molded me with hands that care, that are compassionate and understanding, with skill and courage. It is becoming easier to keep myself in God's hands as I slowly learn to trust him. One day at a time.

I never understood the depth of my own fears until I spoke with this person yesterday. As he opened up, expressing his own fears, his own lack of ability to trust, I began to understand me a bit. I went out for coffee with him to start working with him on Step one. I got so much out of it. I hope he got something too. I pray that God would bring him to that place of surrender.

In yesterdays "Daily Reflections", the passage quoted page 89 out of the book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.


Helping others, helps ourselves. I am thankful for that.

Photo Credit: J. Star

6 comments:

Patty said...

Amen to that! I remember your struggle, but you never gave up!

AlkySeltzer said...

Isn't that neat? "The more we give, the morw we get?" Who woulda thunk?

Kathy Lynne said...

"..as I slowly learn to trust Him." I know that feeling. Having not had conscious contact my whole life it takes some getting used to. I was going to say I never had God in my life until now but that is not correct. He was alwasy there. I was the one who was not.

Lou said...

How interesting that it is rewarding for both of you. Nice.

PRAYER GIRL said...

It's impossible to explain to a newcomer who is so grateful to have someone who understands them and takes the time to talk with them that we get more out of it than they do. We don't tell them, we just know it. Of course, often they find salvation from their fatal malady. Maybe it's a toss-up as to who gains most. The spiritual world does not behave in the same manner as the material world.
Thank God for that.

Cat said...

My husband has embraced AA and all the steps - he is working them slowly but he is working them. I on the other hand am having difficulty with Al-Anon based on the higher power theory, but I am a work in progress and when I am ready i am sure I will get it. Cat