Monday, September 1, 2008

Promise


Today, I am clean and sober.

I've been thinking about what it was like before, how when a mini-crisis would take place in the family. How I would deal with it by drinking wine (just to enhance the meal) or visiting the seedier side of the Internet (just checking the news). Doing all I could do so I would not have to think or feel.

With all the drama of the last couple of days, I didn't think about drinking or porning. I stayed in my feelings, I spoke with my sponsor a couple of times, went to a meeting, held hands and prayed with my partner, stayed connected. We were afraid together. We struggled together. We tried to be open to what God wanted, tried to be accepting.

Somehow, we (my partner, my child, myself) came up with a plan. To encourage, to help, hopefully, it's not too codependent. We made some decisions. We acknowledged that no matter what plan we have, there is no garantee that it's the right decision. Truth is, it's in God's Hands. Best place to be.

Fear usually drives me into a place of isolation. Pushing me away from any connection I have with others. I wanted to go there, started to go there a few times, but somehow could see the futility of that action. Staying connected with others. There is hope there.

Steveroni had a great blong on fear. I can see it so well today. (Maybe even better tomorrow.) How fear controlled my life. It doesn't have to be that way!

If we work the steps, our fears diminish. The promises read:

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 83)


Thanks for letting me share.


Photo Credit: .....dotted.....

1 comment:

AlkySeltzer said...

First, (Distinct!) thank you for visiting my place in here.

Second, you just wrote my blog for tomorrow...which would have been the second part of "Fear Today-- GONE TOMORROW". Ahhh, well.

a) If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

b) Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

c) We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

Sh*t, now I've got to think of another topic -g-.