Monday, September 8, 2008


I looked out into the morning and was treated with bright bands of orange streaking across the sky. The far away coastal mountains standing out in black relief. The water with a faint ripple, turning a pale orange below the islands. Every time I look out, the scene has changed, colours shifting, moving to yellow, and as light starts to fill the space, the colours start to fade.

I would never have seen this before. In my depressions of past, I wouldn't have left the warmth of the bed so early, nor appreciated the view with a sense of gratitude. Sobriety gives us so much. So many little things in my life have changed.

I had been praying for a while, asking God to bring a sponsee into my life. So through a series of events, I now have two I am staying sober with. I'm sure I am being helped more than they are. Just in the process of looking at the steps, reading the big book and the twelve and twelve. Sharing our days, it's like they hold up big mirrors in which to see myself. When they see their own selfishness, self-pity, or fears, it's like seeing my own. As they apply the steps in their own lives, I get to do the same. The gratitude I feel when they grow is another gift. It's not me at work, it's God. (and do I have to work at reminding myself of that.) If they are struggling, I also work hard at not taking ownership. I can't solve their issues.

Seeing lives change is like watching the sunrise. As God paints the sky with colours bold and subtle, the Creator works in our lives. I can never see the change happening, but everytime I look up, the view is different.

Even now, the sun is just peaking over the islands. It's a brilliant orange ball, all the other colours quickly fading.

I realize that God works with beautiful strokes of brush or baton. Taking the ugly, painful, events of our lives and transforming it into something of wonder. God's time, God's way.

I am thankful for such a beautiful morning, and for the thoughts that seemed to come because of it. God at work.

Photo Credit: Robert Scott Photography


Shadow said...

i've found that noticing my surroundings (as you did here) and being more observant of people (not just what they say, but also what they do and what their manner says) has been a great anchor in stabilising me. and in providing gratitude!

Laura said...

You paint an absolutely beautiful story of truth.



I have placed a skull and crossbones (mentally) over alcohol, denial, and depression - my three worst enemies. Depression is a killer and I have to take action anytime it begins to approach me in any way. I have to call my sponsor, get to extra meetings, whatever it takes. I suffered greatly in the past and can't afford to ignore any warning signs. They don't happen often, but from time to time.......

I have also found that when I place my sponsee situation in God's hands, things turn out just as they should - I either get one or I don't. Or I get 12. I leave it in God's hands.

Anonymous said...

Great post, thanks.

AlkySeltzer said...

Indi, I would REALLY enjoy to meet you some day! You write very spiritually, your thoughts, and the insights you bring to this table are SO good for me and others, as well.

Yes, to sponsor someone is a most SPECIAL honor, a gift from God, and a responsibility, to give of my time, my experience, and sometimes my strength, almost always my HOPE, to another recoverer.

Your line: "I now have two I am staying sober with." says it ALL, for me. That word WE is there again, as it must always be. *I* cannot 'cut' it. WE can! Thanks!

Mary LA said...

I might not be a sponsee but you are helping me to stay sober.

Stick around, my friend. I love the growth.