Thursday, July 2, 2009

AA Triangle


I remember, very clearly, the advice given to me while I was a patient in a treatment centre. Get a sponsor, get a home group, get the keys to the meeting, and use the phone. Kinda like the three parts of the AA triangle: Recovery, unity, and service.

I kept that key to the meeting for about a year and a half. I didn't want to share it. I wanted to open the door, make the coffee, set up the chairs, get the literature set out, and shovel the snow off the walkway if needed. Greeting and talking with people as they arrived. There were times when I was full of self pity doing that work, sometimes I was angry, most times it was joyful and fun. But having a responsibility to open the meeting made sure I got to that meeting when I most needed it. It was also the stepping stone to other service. A couple of positions in my home group, and some work with the district.

And that led right into unity. I hated business meetings. They seemed slow and tedious. So much opinion to listen to before we could vote. Taking the vote and then having to listen again to the minority voice. Having another vote and reversing the decision. It was frustrating. I had to keep my mouth shut while all those extra voices in my head were ranting away. Kept telling my self it wasn't about me, I was in no position to get angry over the process, that I needed to accept. After over three years of business meetings, I'm finally starting to get a bit of serenity at them, allowing the process to happen as it's supposed to, and not having to act as an impatient child. Maybe even being able to see the laughter hidden in the meetings.

Recovery has taken on a whole new meaning lately. Working with sponsee's is, by far, the best things that's happened to my recovery. As I work the steps with a sponsee, it's like they are holding up a mirror to me as I see my own struggles within their own. As we go through the big book, paragraph by paragraph, I discover new gems hidden within those pages. When a sponsee takes his own will back, I learn to let go, allowing myself to feel the sadness and disappointment without trying to beat myself. When they pick up chips along the way, I can celebrate their success without having to take credit for it. I learn how to be a human being through the relationship with a sponsee.

That triangle is encompassed by a circle. A circle that represents the AA world. A world where I found God, where I found sobriety, where the path to becoming a person was opened up to me. A world where giving of one self to help another was the way to ward of selfishness, self pity, and fear. A world where I could feel my feelings and not have to go hide in the bottom of a bottle.

It's a great place.

Photo Credit: billjacobus1

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

So good to see you back again!

Love and a hug

Mary

Indigo said...

I think it keeps us honest in a way. By example we show, by teaching we still remain the student. Nothing is ever set in stone in such a way, we don't continue to learn from the same lessons. Great post hon! (Hugs)Indigo

Annette said...

Oh your back! I am so glad!! I was just checking in real quick and saw your post. Good to see you here!

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

"Recovery has taken on a whole new meaning lately. Working with sponsee's is, by far, the best things that's happened to my recovery. As I work the steps with a sponsee, it's like they are holding up a mirror to me as I see my own struggles within their own."

exactly how i feel. they teach me a LOT. i see myself in them and gain perspective on my failings often for the first time. it teaches me compassion.

Do you see how 'it is in giving we receive" (st francis prayer) is really true? cool huh!
nice to see you posting :)