Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Just me

I survived the first day of school! It went much better than anticipated, not that I ever expect the worst. (grinning) Best part is I discovered it's only a 10 minute walk to the lunch time AA meeting. Lots to experience in this new world of education. I read somewhere that there are some cultures which consider the act of learning a spiritual experience. A remaking or recreating of someone or ourselves. Makes me think that my Higher Power has challenges prepared for all of us.

In working step one on the concept of emotional sobriety, my sponsor pointed out that I was really struggling with self-acceptance. It was kind of a "ah ha" moment for me. Be powerless over my emotions is, in some ways, about accepting just who I am. Just as accepting the fact I was an alcoholic is similar to to admitting I was powerless over alcohol. I couldn't do one without the other.

On page 417 of the 4th edition of the big book is a paragraph that reads:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life —unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake.

When I make that paragraph about me I read that I am not a mistake and that I am just the way I am supposed to be at this moment. I believe the feeling I am feeling at this moment is hope.

My addicted child is just where he is supposed to be. He is not a mistake. That is hope as well.

None of us are mistakes. Lots and lots of hope.

Thanks for letting me share.

Photo Credit: Donna Cymek (If you follow the link, you'll be greeted by the sharing of a wonderful story)


An Irish Friend of Bill said...

yaaaaay glad you started your new course. You will surprise yourself! Its not even remotely easy, but if you keep an open mind and make as many study-buddies as possible it will be a LOT easier. Doing it alone is no better with education as it is for alcoholism :)

glad to hear you are learning how to accept your basic flawed humanity :) sounds very healthy!

good luck with the course and i hope it leads you to more promising career prospects. god knows we all need as much of that as we can get our hands on :)

Syd said...

Great quote from the BB. I think that we are where we are supposed to be and that there is reason for the things that happen. Hopefully, I learn from everything put before me.

Madison said...

Awesome way to live. Great post.

Annette said...

I love acceptance. When I find my way back to acceptance after a wander, I can feel the burden lift. What a relief, I then know I am back where I belong.

Steve E. said...

Hey, Mr Indistinct. I seem to have lost you somewhere, but by accident here we are. Good blog 1 Thanks for reminding me that almost everything in the first 164 pages of the Big Book ARE me...and much of what follows, e.g., page 417, etc.

I'm glad to have found you again.

Steve E. said...

Irish Friend wrote: "Doing it alone is no better with education as it is for alcoholism."

How true, I have found. During my Master Degree courses, the profs insisted we study in groups, on weekends, late nights, etc. There IS something about "WE" instead of "ME"