Saturday, December 26, 2009

direction


When I reflect on yesterday, I am, once again, filled with gratitude for the changes occurring in my life and the love of my family. The changes in that I could spend the whole day sitting, eating, talking, hiking, eating, and just being with family. The house was over full with grandparents and parents and children and grandchildren and the dogs of our children. and I only became emotionally unstable at two occasions, neither of which resulted in any outbursts, I just became quiet, trying to let go and let God, remind myself that I don't have to have things go my way. The feelings subsided and a semblance of serenity returned.

It's fun to watch how our family pulls together to make dinner happen, my partner acting as the stage manager, everyone following her direction, while the plan is open to change at the whim of every idea deemed good. It amazes me how fluid some people can be in their lives as I struggle against the rigidity that I seem to demand. Even the conflicts that occur seem to be dealt with much more civilly than I could have ever mustered. There was lots to learn from yesterday, I was glad to be part of it, to be able to join in the celebrations that resulted from the birth of a child two thousand years ago.

Our family faces plenty of struggles which made yesterday feel especially special. A respite of togetherness, fellowship, and remembering. So this is what it feels like when we are all rowing together.

I am grateful for what the rooms of A.A. have done for me. In the sharing of your hope, your experience, and your recovery, I am privileged to be part of that journey, through good times, through bad times. A journey of discovery. One lesson I am learning is that I cannot stay sober alone, life is about we.

Thanks for reading.

Photo Credit: Nick Wheeleroz

3 comments:

Lou said...

A delightful post to read! I love how you noticed your partner's ease. When I relax, I notice good traits about my husband that I never took the time to appreciate before.

Annette said...

Love this post! And I love the picture of "rowing together." That is going to stay with me as a goal.

Syd said...

Wonderful analogy of rowing together and writing that life is about we. Yes, it really is.