Sunday, December 20, 2009

feelings


What is with my brain? It seems to be permanently set to "there's got to be an easier way" and "my life is not what I want so lets feel sorry for me, shall we?" The thinking was especially whinny when I awoke yesterday. We had big plans for the day, get the remainder of the gifts purchased, fix the father-in -laws computer, go to a funeral, and have a wee bit of time just for ourselves. When I thought of all this, my mind groaned, my skin felt on edge, and I just wanted to go hide. But the good news is, we did all that we had on the list, my partner and I never argued once, the father-in-law is happy, all the gifts are purchased, I had the opportunity to think and talk of a friend who had passed away, and we got some time to snuggle together while watching a show. It was a good day.

Listening to your words has shown me that it's not the thinking that counts, it's the actions. I cannot help but feel edgy, I am powerless over those feelings, but when I align my actions to those of what God is showing me, my life seems to flow smoother.

The fellow who's memorial service I went to had been sober only a few short years. He fought a battle with cancer and God's will was to take him home. This fellow showed me two important lessons. One is that we can choose never to be alone, that recovery is a program about "we" and works much together when we walk hand in hand. The second is that we should never use our circumstances to garner pity from others. He never complained once at a meeting, never shared of his fight with cancer. Instead, he kept showing love, compassion, and tolerance. I miss him but, hopefully, will never forget him or the lessons he has taught me. Thank you, friend, for the lessons you have shown me, the truths you have lived by.

Thanks for reading.

Photo Credit: Kudaker

1 comment:

Syd said...

He sounds like he was a man filled with a lot of gratitude. That is an awesome thing. He probably helped out others and found that by giving of his time and energy, he got so much more back in return. Great tribute to your friend.