Wednesday, January 20, 2010


In the early morning hours of Monday, we had storm blow through our area, the biggest gust recorded was 108 km per hour. The noise of the wind blowing through the trees woke everyone up, the power was out for hours. I drove to work on Monday, it was raining hard. Yesterday, as I walked to work, the shoulder of the road was strewn with branches ripped from the fir tree forest that the road goes through. In places, it was like a carpet. The fragrance of evergreen filled the air. Made for a walk full of gratitude. My imagination was wondering if the tree's enjoyed the massage, having all the dead needles removed, the week branches pruned. I guess if I was feeling at peace, then the trees must be feeling at peace. My brain can be amusing.

My partner and I started to take ball room dance lessons last night. We had tried this a couple of years ago but couldn't find the time to keep it up. It was fun, my spouse was smiling the whole time we were moving around the floor.

My mood went from dark to grey as the day progressed yesterday. It just seemed to ease up. This morning, it is much easier just to be me. When my mood is lighter, it is much easier to feel connected, to be part of the "we". When the mood is dark, I feel alone, isolated, apart. Nothing has really changed, just my internal landscape.

It's like some days, I paint a dark, brooding picture of the world, another day pictures full of light and peace. Truth is the only thing that has changed is my point of view. My understanding is that I do the same actions, no matter what the feelings are. Continue to do the next right thing that the Director asks me to do. What I understand that my Higher Power asks of me is to love the person in front of me the same way that the God of my understanding does for me. To love unconditionally, to have compassion and care, to not judge. God does it much better than me. Feelings are transient, my responsibilites are not. I have to admit that this is much easier to say when my mood isn't dark.

Thankful that I'm sober and clean and feeling connected. Thanks for reading.

Photo Credit: lepiaf.geo


Garnet said...

So observant and genuine. Thanks for this post and for your thoughtful comment today on my blog. Nice to read your thoughts.

My spouse and I have been learning salsa. It's been a delight. I hope you have as much fun dancing as we have.

Have a good 24 hours.

Syd said...

I understand that feeling of isolation. I like the solution that you mention. I can go to a bad place in my head in a split second, but I don't have to stay stuck there.

Anonymous said...

Ball room dancing sounds like fun!