Monday, February 15, 2010

brightness


The couples workshop that my partner and I attended was inspiring and awakening. There was little time to sit, lots of time devoted to the experiential. We drew, we danced, we breathed, we played, and on and on. All our senses were involved, all our being was drawn in. Few emotions were left untouched. We were shown was passion was, and how to create passion in our lives, individually and together. There were some wonderful moments of understanding and clarity, of letting go, of surrender and trust. There was so much of colour, of hue and intensity.

There are two moments that stand out for me. The first was the discovery that longing could become a prayer, deeply spiritual in it's intent. We, as humans, have the capacity to long for and to be longed for. As I awaken a sense of longing for my partner, there is a deep resonance within her. I was struck by her intensity and vitality. Her colours were bright, luminous, strong, deeply lustrous. She has her own space and presence. She can be a formidable partner, more than willing to create tension. She is she.

The second was that my personal boundaries were still very tight, restrictive, cave like. More so that I would have wanted to admit. I worked at stretching those boundaries, to make room for others, to once again push through my fears. My boundaries also seek to envelope and control, seeking to make my world safe. Always, this deep need for safety appears as I look at myself, a need to be protected. My boundaries restrict and diminish. No room for passion. It's time to get out of the cave.

Last night, as I drove to a meeting, I was full of fear again. A fear of the world and what might happen, the retreat had become a place of safety and it was gone. It felt like my world had shifted while I was away and I had to learn to trust again. That fear was intense, I had difficulty in reading out load, the words were twisted, it was difficult to share. That fear had to be pushed against, it sought to pull me in, to find my cave, to make the circle small. Live is there to be lived but it does become my choice. Push back.

A poem was shared with us, a poem that resonated within my spirit, that sung. A poem by Rainer Maria Rilke:

Ah, whom can we ever turn to
in our need? Not angels, not humans,
and already the knowing animals are aware
that we are not really at home
in
our interpreted world.
Don't you know yet? Fling the emptiness out of your arms
and into the spaces we breathe; perhaps the birds
will feel the expanded air with more passionate flying.


Breath


Photo credit: jasohill

3 comments:

The Turning Point said...

Your workshop sounded exciting. Been on a few couples weekend retreats and workshops. What helps me grow, come out of my cave is the experience of learning how to live like your partner, live with the tension. If I can live with the tension I'm into life with all its paradoxes and contradictions.

Syd said...

The workshop sounds like it was interesting and stimulating. I think that it would be neat to attend something like that. How did you find out about it? Would I be able to Google one nearby? Just curious about the process of finding something that would be helpful in deepening trust of each other.

Garnet said...

Indistinct, are you still out there? I haven't seen your posts or comments around for awhile. Poke your head up and give us a nod - one for okay, two for not okay. Will you?