Thursday, November 25, 2010


Mental Drunkenness: In spite of all knowledge some of us wilfully continue in self-centeredness. We ignore our mental illness. Alcoholic thinking displaces humility, and we return to physical drunkenness through lack of spiritual growth and understanding.

Looking at our failure, we discover we have built up resentment, self-pity, and physical or mental exhaustion, and our faith in a Power greater than ourselves was inadequate.

We should never forget physical drunkenness is always preceded by mental binges that end in spiritual blackouts. They leave us blind and helpless . . . (The Little Red Book, p30)

Love that term, "spiritual blackout." I can relate to this passage so well. When I am struggling, serenity long gone, I am usually not the first to recognize it. I'm roiling along in self-pity, or seething in resentment and I think everything is okay. The only way I usually see what's going on inside my head, to have my vision restored, is by sharing with someone what's going on inside. When I talk it out, with a sponsor or friend or stranger, sunlight comes streaming in again.

There has been a few times when my thinking is totally wacked and the phone rings and I was spared the trouble of going out for a drink to relieve my emotional pain. Were those phone calls coincidental. I think not. Sobriety, for me, is a gift from Something outside of myself.

It's easy to be loving--what takes work is to be kind.


An Irish Friend of Bill said...

yes a great term for being in denial about the source of ones misery :) or just being a miserable so and so..
great term :)

envyofbliss said...

thankyouthankyouthankyou-your words this morning where a true wakeup for me as my daughter just arrived home from wreaking her car-drinking and driving again-i am at a loss tring to understand her way in this world. she just got a new job the day before that she needed her car to get too. i think my next step is to tell her to move out. soo hard to do

indistinct said...

I hope and pray that you have the wisdom to do the next right thing, what ever that is.

The heartache of watching a child struggle with alcohol and drugs is wretchedly deep. My partner and I have spent so many sleepless nights worrying about what the child was up to and would the child ever find their way into recovery. I could not explain to anyone the nature of my Higher Power, but I pray each day and night that the circumstances my child finds themselves in would draw them closer to their recovery. I also pray that I stay out of the way. I find some peace in that.

One day at a time.

indistinct said...

Once more comment. We don't have to walk alone. There are many folk who struggle with family members trapped in addiction. We don't have to look far to find someone. There are great support groups, like Alanon, where we can find help for ourselves.

Syd said...

Spiritual blackout--what a great way to put it. I call my sponsor when I feel that emptiness.