Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Returning trails

Honesty, openness, and willingness are among the most valuable tools that we have in our spiritual tool kit. Even if I'm running off on a tangent, looking for something that simply that does not exist, I’ll run headfirst into the lesson that I’m supposed to learn. As long as I practice the HOW of the program I will be taught.

I was on a quest. What is meditation? What religion has the best type? Which form will make my life easier? I wanted the how, what, why, who, where, and the when of it all. I wanted answers and I was going to keep on digging until I found all the answers. I was struggling with that half of step 11 and wanted relief. That is why I started to write in this blog again. I hoped to resolve this issue once and for all. (I’m blinded by all the I’s in this paragraph.)

I was listening at meetings when the topic was Step 11 and almost every speaker said that prayer was about talking to God and meditation was about listening. None spoke of what their practice looked like. I wanted nut and bolts, please. Did you sit on a pillow, did you concentrate on your breath, did you contemplate a passage, did you, did you? I was looking for the pamphlet on conference approved meditative practices!

And then a reading from “Daily Reflections” earlier this week pointed me at this passage:

Meditation is something which can always be further developed. It has no boundaries, either of width or height. Aided by such instruction and example as we can find, it is essentially an individual adventure, something which each one of us works out in his own way. But its object is always the same: To improve conscious contact with God, with His grace, wisdom, and love. And let’s always remember that mediation is in reality intensely practical. (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p101)

So I returned from my quest understanding that ultimately I get to work out my own way, there is no “right” way. Just as I had to work out “the God of my understanding”, I need to work out my meditative practice. I return from my quest grateful for the answer and with a new sense of responsibility that I need to make the effort myself. Now if I can just remember to keep it practical.

Thanks for letting me share.

Photo Credit: -Snugg-

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