Thursday, January 6, 2011


I was at one of those meetings last night where things go a little sideways. Folk got pissed off at the chairman, uninvited cross talk was plentiful. People walked out of the meeting. There was someone there who was only at their second meeting. Lots of chaos and drama. I wanted to walk out, I was full of fear as I sat in my spot. I'm in a different town, the meetings and folk are unknown to me, I was way out of my comfort zone.

I stayed. I could see all the fear in the room. How every person in that room had the best interest of the new comer in mind and were pushing and shoving to make sure the meeting would be perfect for the new comer. All the drama was for nought, when asked to share, the new guy spoke well, breaking out into tears as he revealed his pain and suffering. I am so grateful for the program of recovery that I follow, that the meeting does not have to flow perfectly, that in all the chaos God is. Everyone in the room had the opportunity to share their hope and experience. It ended up a marvellous meeting, and I now have friends in a place where I was a stranger. I am grateful that my actions are less dictated by my fears and more by my Higher Power. I am privileged that I can see the right thing to do, that my fears do not have to give direction.

Page 67 of the Big Book reads:

Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."

We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.

The literature teaches me tolerance and acceptance. Some days I can practice it. Yay God!


Annette said...

Love this...I have been thinking a lot this week how in our recovery we often move from a place of fear to a place of faith. Faith in our HP, faith in the process, faith in doing the next right thing. Glad you made it to the other side and saw the good waiting for you over there. Yay You! And God... :o) I think he is probably clapping in your direction.

Anonymous said...

Today I try not to let my actions dictate my fears either. It's hard though. Especially because I'm still at the very beginning. I have 70 days today and it's hard not to get caught up in chaos and drama and fear.

I love your blog. Mine is Maybe you could write a little on your relationship with your HP on the Spiritual Experiences page?


Anonymous said...

I never know what to do when things go sideways like that. I'm glad it turned out well and that you could "stay through your fear" so to speak.

Syd said...

Isn't it amazing how somehow it all comes together if we keep an open mind. I only walked out of one meeting and doing that was based on my inflexibility. I was not concentrating on what was right but what was wrong.