Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Where am I going?

Been thinking a lot about step 12 the past week. Only because I've been to a few meetings where step 12 was the topic. I was reminded of this event in my past.

I was taking a friend out to go prawning. I wanted to set the traps on a rocky reef about 6 kilometres from the boat launch. I could see a fog bank but that didn't deter me, for I had a compass and a depth sounder. We set out heading north, log booms lining the shore to our port, a dryland sort being close by. As we entered the fog, I noticed the compass heading and the direction the waves were coming from. I kept the waves off the same quarter of the bow, occasionally checking the compass. I noticed the compass was drifting off course, and decided not to trust it. I would use the waves instead. The compass continued to drift further and further off my course when suddenly the depth sounder started beeping, indicating the bottom was coming up. I slowed down and rocks and trees appeared through the fog. I had only travelled only half the expected time so I should have about 600 meters of water below me and there was 30. I finally recognized some landmarks on the island and realized that I had travelled in a large arc, ending up on the same shore from whence I started, still on the wrong side of the straight. Wondering how come I couldn't trust the compass, amazed that I would choose my own senses. So, choosing a new compass heading to get me where I wanted to be I set off, this time determined to trust that compass. We had travelled about half the expected distance, the compass still on course, when log booms appeared to us. My brain leapt to, "Your right back to where you started, travelling the same arc in reverse. Why did you trust the compass." I was bewildered. At that point, the fog decides to lift and I can see my prawing spot 3000 meters in front of us. The log boom we had come across was in tow, running down the centre of the straight to one of the saw mills. My faith in the compass was restored.

On page 62 of the big book:

This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.

One of the spiritual experiences I have had was discovering that if I allow my Higher Power to be the compass for my life, I get to where God wants me to be. If I keep following that heading, no matter how rough the path becomes, sometimes struggling just to get to the other side, my life turns out pretty good. If I choose my own heading, well, I just plain get lost. Where does God's compass usually point? Put others first.

I am grateful for my sobriety, for having come this far with God. Trudging this road with others, not having to be alone any more.


Annette said...

What a beautiful example of living a life of faith. Thank you for that.

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

well yes i can identify with that self will despite an authoriy telling me otherwise :)
Thanks for sharing the story :)

Grace-WorkinProgress said...

I think we have an inner wisdom that I call God. I think it is at odds sometimes with the mind and when I am headed in the wrong directions it gently trys to correct me. If I am disconnected from my higher power I don't pick up on the subtle clues and keep drifting away from what is truly best for me. This is why being still is so important for me. Nice post.

Grace-WorkinProgress said...

I was checking to see if somehow I missed a post. Hope you are doing well and using your compass.