There is more

Step 3 suggests that we make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. For me, a decision to move on with the remaining nine steps and to try and follow God's will as I interacted with others. For more specific instruction I used the last paragraph on the bottom of page 62 of the Big Book:

This is the how and why of it. First of all, we hat to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Many good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we pass to freedom.

And that little reminder on page 63, "We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him."

I came to realization this weekend that Step 3 and Step 11 are much more that just how I interact with other people. In my struggles with resentment, anger and fear, there was more going on inside of me that just my struggles with others.

As I crossed the threshold of the labyrinth and started the journey towards the centre I was opening myself up to something much greater than myself, to the infinite emptiness of unknowing. In that expansive place, I could see myself as a child of God, bathed in Light; filaments of ancient stars. Imagining my Higher Power as loving, caring, compassionate, who at times can cradle me in those pair of hands and at others staying close to me as I felt the emptiness. Softly, gently, illuminating my journey.

How I see and love others, how I see and love this Power greater than myself, and how I see and love myself are all parts of God's will for me. Buddha is quoted as saying "You cannot travel the path until you have become the path"

I never have to arrive. I am a journey.