Sunday, October 9, 2011

Odd?

Coincidence can be defined as "the appearance of a meaningful connection when there is none."(Wiktionary) An example I can think of is an event that occurred a week before I was to celebrate one year in recovery. I had been arguing with my partner (resentments again!), I was tired of feeling my feelings, and I felt unworthy of taking a one year chip. The thought came up that if I took a drink, all three problems would be solved. She would punt me out of the house, I would feel better, and there would be no need to take that chip. I was feeling very excited about this solution when the phone rang and someone in the program was asking how I was doing and I spilled the beans. My partner was present with me as I took my one year chip, gratitude was the central feeling of the night.

When I was buried in my resentments of few months ago I was asked by a member of AA how I was doing. I retorted that I was fine, thank you. S/he replied "yeah, right!" and walked away. This is a member who had attempted a spectacular suicide at about seven years sober. A member who today exudes compassion and grace. A member who's storied jarred me, made me think about where I was going. We rarely come across each others path, just another coincidence.

Another member who asks for help, and in our talking, it becomes apparent that his delusional resentments are similar to mine. I'm looking in a mirror! Just another coincidence?

Members of my home group who listen to me spout my resentments but don't ask me to leave, ask me to stay and to work it out. More love and compassion. More coincidence at the timing and words.

I've been sober for a few short years. This week I started to look at all the coincidence's that have occurred during this journey and felt a bit astonished. Is there a meaningful connection?

Karl Jung used the term synchronicity to describe meaningful coincidence. Events that happen that are connect to the same source.

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. Perhaps there is very little credit I can take for staying sober. I get to work this program for all it's worth and God sets up the synchronicity!

One day at a time.


3 comments:

Patty said...

I got so much from this post and the comment you left on my blog today. Thank you. "Hanging on to what I think is important". You are so right! Thanks again :)

Annette said...

Beautiful post! It reminded me to keep the focus on myself and my program. I have been looking elsewhere, everywhere, but at myself. Then I will see all of God's beautiful synchronicity in my life. Thank you. You gave me something else to focus on today besides my daughter for today. She thanks you too! :o)

Grace-WorkinProgress said...

Living the spiritual life and walking the walk can be exhausting sometimes. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days when I dinn't know better when I could blame everything and everyone for my suffering.

This way of thinking was a way of life for me for a long time and is easy in my frustration to slide right back into it. It is also easy for me to forget just how much life really sucked back then.
I felt helpless, lost and stuck.

Now I know I have choices, even if I have to be accountable for my own happiness.